I’M DOING FUCKING GREAT JEFF THANKS FOR ASKING!!

I really don’t get this. It’s such a random thing to offer to buy someone. I guess he just knows that since I have ovaries I love frozen yoghurt!

Firstly would you do that? And secondly am I the beautiful girl? Or is there a random beautiful girl who he is offering to me that will do anything? Is this sex trafficking?

In my profile I mention that I’m applying for an American visa, so I see he thought that the way to capitalise on this was with some casual racism.

Probably not send passive aggressive illiterate messages which contain backhanded compliments!

This message was sent to a friend of mine who is studying Japanese. Neither she, nor I, have any idea what he is wittering about, or what to reply to it. Suggestions?

This was sent to a heterosexual female. Classy!

Despite all these terrible, confusing, grammatically incorrect, messages sometimes there’s one that is full of win:

I hope he uses that line on every girl.

Do you have any better ones? Or, like me, do most of yours just say “Hey! Wanna make out???”