For the last week and a half I have been looking for a lipstick. Not any old lipstick, I found 100s of those, but the lipstick. One that will make me look like a lady, and that will not rub off all over cups, cigarettes, and boys’ faces.
Back in this post I mentioned a party so terrible that I forgot sleeping with someone at it. While I erased most of it from my mind I have never forgotten a lipstick related mishap that nearly stopped that entire sorry blog post unfolding (why didn’t it?? why??).
At the start of the evening I bumped into someone I thought was my ONE TRUE LOVE. We’ll call him Chet. My primary reason for thinking this was because I’d met Chet while blissed out on some Es. The moment I met him was amazing: I looked up from my scrabbling hands and in a split second the world slipped away. For a few hours I followed him around, hands in his pockets staring at him like there was no-one else in the room. It was probably pretty creepy. A few days later Chet invited me to this now apocryphal party and most of the sheen had worn off him I was still fairly smitten. When I arrived he’d necked half a bottle of Ritalin and was gabbling at me about everything under the sun. I was horrible disappointed but followed him into an empty room anyway to put my coat down. Inside Chet grabbed me by the arm: “Nadia just kissed me.” My heart sank as he was smiling broadly. “She kissed so badly; let me show you.” and before I could say anything he was lapping at my face like a St Bernard. I seized the opportunity as he broke away: “How would you prefer it was?” and so we kissed. We kissed for some time stood in the dingy light of Nadia’s bedroom surrounded by coats and shoes and someone sleeping under a curtain. In my head I was going “Yes! Yes! Yes!” because I am an idiot and do things like that.
Then someone stepped in to drop a bag off and we stood about awkardly talking about how this was a terrible idea and that we should just be friends. Well Chet said that and I said “Oh yes I suppose so.” Mortified that I could have misread a situation so badly I had been staring at the floor, and when I finally had the courage to look up I realised my lurid red lipstick was all over his face. He was telling me, all serious like, that this was just something that we’d done in the moment, and that it would be best if we didn’t think about it again, blah blah blah. I gave him a tissue, told him to clean himself and left the room. It wasn’t until days later that I realised I too must have looked like Robert Smith when I walked back into the party. Subtle.
And so to avoid this ever happening again I have been looking for a matte lipstick that doesn’t smell like crayons, isn’t neon red, won’t dry my lips, and yet won’t leave a trail of smears everywhere I go. Any ideas? It’s rather important you know.
Photo from Le Smoking.
6 Comments
I don’t wear lipstick and never have, but when I was working I liked anything Poppy King did. She really is the Lipstick Queen! http://www.lipstickqueen.com/
I also loved good old Lipcote from any Boots or other chemist. It actually does what it promises and means you can fall in love with any old lippie and not worry about the staying power. Plus it’s so cheap, you can indulge in trying new lipsticks!
I do love Poppy King’s stuff, its soooo beautiful! I’ve been cooing over it in Space NK for months now.
So Lipcoate really really really really works?? Promise? Because if so I shall just buy dozens of lippies and slap that over it! I fell inlove with a nude shade the other day that I never thought I would like and was upset that it sort of slid off after an hour or so. Ah you are a genius!
I am on the same quest too! But it’s very hard to find one that will behave and make me look like A Proper Lady for longer than half an hour.
I’ve also been dallying with Lipcote but it has a tendency to go mental and flake off in lumpy clumps. I think it might not deal well with the cold, and it certainly is not food-proof, but it’s surprisingly resilient to kisses. I think it’s one to persevere with, even if it does only give you perfect lips for a couple of hours, it still lasts longer than lipstick alone.
Lipcote certainly ticked my make up artist boxes, and the models seemed to like it well enough. It’s definitely cheap enough to give a try, but since I have never in my life worn lipstick I can’t personally vouch for it.
But nothing lasts on cigarettes…the filter is designed to absorb anything on your lips. It’s one of the reasons I’ve never taken up wearing lippy!
1. “Brick” or “redd” lip liner by MAC. Fill in the whole lip. (I quickly run my liner over a flame, makes it softer/easier to apply.
2. russian red.(classic non-whore matte) diva (glamourous deep matte), both MAC
3. It is all about the stinging lipcote. Put it on, work from the outside in. let it dry…I can go for ages with out reapplying….no flakes!
4. It lasts. I swear. Pints, toast, blowies. Ace!
Oh god I LOVE Russian Red! I had it as a gloss years ago, but I never thought about getting it in a matte shade.
All these glowing endorsements of Lipcoate are swaying my mind over to wearing lippy now….