Top 5 Songs For a Broken Heart.

5. Thieves Like Us – Your Heart Feels
This song is best listened to mid-way through the broken heart process: you’ve moved on long enough not to sniff things they gave you and weep, but not enough to talk to them without wanting to pee. It’s a bit like a 2000s The Rat, but about feeling shitty about seeing your ex-boyfriend everywhere instead of getting bored of ‘the scene’ after breaking up with your girlfriend. There’s a difference, ok?

4. Patsy Cline – Three Cigarettes In An Ashtray
Obivously this song is only applicable when you’ve been cheated on, but shit, Patsy Cline knows exactly what’s going on in your heart and if you smoke it’s even better because you can look at all the gnarled butts in your ashtray and sigh. Even better if some are still his. If you smoke his left overs, you are officially disgusting fyi.

3. Amy Winehouse – Tears Dry On Their Own
Let’s just pretend for one second that after writing this Ames dumped Blakey and got on with her life, because this song is pretty much a distillation of everything heartbreak is: your whole life is grey and horrible, you love him so much but he’s a giant douche and doesn’t care about you, and you keep telling yourself you’re going to be an independent woman, but all you do is sit and cry. But hey! There are topless men in the video! Bonus!

2. Blur – To The End
Although you are nowhere near as cool as Justine Frischmann it’s nice to think that you could be sitting there, louche, drinking whiskey, listening to your ex wonder why you broke up, in classy way. This will probably make you cry if you’ve been heartbroken for less than a week though. (Another bonus from the video: Graham Coxon in a suit. Grunt.)

1. Chet Baker – But Not For Me
Bright Eyes – Landlocked Blues
Listening to these two songs got me so emotional it felt unfair to pick one over the other so it’s a joint top spot. And yes I know this is a cop-out but if these two songs don’t move you then you have no soul.

If you really want to wallow in misery then there’s always my self-compiled Saddest Playlist In The World on Spotify which contains all these, and more! And which always reduces me to a jibbering weepy wreck.