Online dating intrigues me. Everything else in my life from where I go out, to what shoes I buy, seems to be tied to the internet so it just seems natural that I should go about finding someone to go out with in the same way. Plucking up the courage to contact a random pretty stranger is amazing and something I find insanely hard. Even replying to messages is an uphill struggle. Flattered as I am that anyone would want to message a girl who admits that she loves burping on her profile page, some of the messages are insane. Here are some of my (and my lovely friends’) ‘best’ messages…
I’M DOING FUCKING GREAT JEFF THANKS FOR ASKING!!
I really don’t get this. It’s such a random thing to offer to buy someone. I guess he just knows that since I have ovaries I love frozen yoghurt!
Firstly would you do that? And secondly am I the beautiful girl? Or is there a random beautiful girl who he is offering to me that will do anything? Is this sex trafficking?
In my profile I mention that I’m applying for an American visa, so I see he thought that the way to capitalise on this was with some casual racism.
Probably not send passive aggressive illiterate messages which contain backhanded compliments!
This message was sent to a friend of mine who is studying Japanese. Neither she, nor I, have any idea what he is wittering about, or what to reply to it. Suggestions?
This was sent to a heterosexual female. Classy!
Despite all these terrible, confusing, grammatically incorrect, messages sometimes there’s one that is full of win:
I hope he uses that line on every girl.
Do you have any better ones? Or, like me, do most of yours just say “Hey! Wanna make out???”
6 Comments
Ah yes, I think I mentioned this the other day but my ‘favourite’ message was from the guy who told me my nipples would look good covered in blood…as an opening line without even a hello or how are you. But then again he was pretending to be a creepy stalker in his profile…
What’s wrong with manners and decent spelling I ask you? I wish these guys would get off my lawn!
One of my favourite exchanges so far…
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ducati
Oct 23, 2009 – 1:08pm
Ok this might seem like a stupid question but I dont know anyone in the UK. Are Ducati motorcycles fairly common over there?
Oct 25, 2009 – 2:17pm
Um, I’m not really sure?
Oct 25, 2009 – 2:50pm
ok thanks any way
Nipples covered in blood still freaks me out… I do wonder what people who send crazy messages like that want as a response.
As for motorcycles, at least you answered! That’s so nice, I would never do that. But that’s cos I’m lazy.
heheh .. that’s quite a laugh
you gotta wonder what’s going through their minds
and do these poor souls sometimes ‘get lucky’ with equally idiotic recipients?
it would be even funnier to see some of the ‘positive’ replies these generate!
Nessa I shit you not: I just got a message on okcupid from some creepazoid asking me for a lock of my hair.
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? That’s HORRIBLE!!!!